Happiness

Recently I had someone write to me and say they hoped I was well and happy.

What is happiness? Webster's defines it as: 1. lucky; fortunate 2. having, showing or causing great pleasure or joy 3. suitable; clever; apt

What is well? Again, Webster's defines it as: 1. in a satisfactory, proper, or excellent manner/ treat her well, to sing well 2. favorable, comfortable

So, back to my statement - "hoped that I was well and happy." I guess according to Webster's I am well. But, I am not happy. There are things that have happened (such as Dad coming home) that have brought me great pleasure, but I have to work at being happy the rest of the time.

What about you? Do you just wake up happy? Do you take life on the chin and stay happy? Do you give something up because it is the right thing to do and stay happy? What about illness? What about constant back pain? Loneliness? Heartache? Job loss? Lost relationship? How does one live through those things and say they are happy?

They don't! Some things hurt. Some things cause pain. We are not living in reality if we think that life is one big amusement park adventure where our every need is catered to, every demand is met, and never will we be sad, lonely, or miserable. People, that is not real thinking.
Living is painful. Loving is painful. Working is painful. Dying is painful. Eating too much is painful. Why do we think we should be exempt from pain?

My dad's left arm doesn't work. It is paralysed; however, he is beginning to feel pain in the arm. The doctors and nurses and therapists are encouraged by this pain. It means there is feeling coming back into the nerves. He is beginning to heal. How does pain work in our lives? Does it signal something? If it does, what do we do about it? My dad could drug the pain. He could try to ignore the pain, but he cannot. It hurts. If he begins to try to exercise his arm, then it begins to heal itself. It begins to retrain itself. Can I exercise a smile so that my pain begins to ebb? Can I use my mind to think of things to do so that my pain lessens? Can I retrain myself?

Life throws curveballs on a weekly, daily, or hourly basis.....sometimes we think it's really a minute by minute basis. But, nonetheless, it happens. How we respond to those curveballs is up to us. We can just lay there and let the problems roll over us, and wallow in them, or we can exercise ourselves and build ourselves up until the pain no longer bothers us. It might still linger, but it's nothing that a little Advil can't knock.

I have had some knocks lately and I don't like them, but what am I going to do? Some things are just not in my control to change and I "chafe against the goads." It bothers me that I allow things that I cannot change to control my wellness or my happiness. So, I am going to do something about it. I am going to alter my stars; I am going to step out. " And do what?" you ask. Well, I am going to change things up a bit. I am going to try a belly dancing class! Yeah. That should make you laugh.... cause I am still laughing. What better way to chase the dolldrums of life than to learn how to belly dance? (I can jump up and down and make my belly dance, but I don't think that is what they are talking about.) Trying something new can be challenging and just what the doctor ordered. So, on Sunday, I am going to step out and learn to dance. If I like it, then I am going on to learn other dances... we'll see where this leads.

Happiness doesn't always have to equate itself in terms of relationships. I don't have to have someone in my life in order to be happy. It can simply be a state of being. A choice. I choose to be happy. I choose to look for the good things in life and then go and experience them. I can help others, I can serve others, I can make people laugh, and I can make myself laugh. What better way to begin? Well, I think belly dancing is a great way to start. :) So, I'll let you know if this works.

If it doesn't, then I'm advertising for a mail-order husband from Alaska.