Protocols

Protocols.

We often under estimate how important these little things can be.
When you are diagnosed with diabetes, the doctor follows certain protocols when he/she treats you. There are surgery protocols, business protocols, educational protocols, etc. You get the drift. Well, there are NO protocols when you start a new relationship. You are crafting them as you go. Tim and I have hit two in just this week: sick days and Valentine's day.

Tim has been sick this week. He thinks he has a cold; I am watching him for bronchitus. I called him on my way home from work and he sounded awful. I asked him if I needed to pick up some "sick food" for him and he had no idea what I was talking about. I said, "You know... sick food. What do you eat when you don't feel good? Soup, jello, 7-Up, applesauce, you know... sick food."

His response, "I never had sick food before. Well, my mom gave me 7 up. But, I never thought of it before."

What do you do for a man who doesn't have "sick food?" I was lost. How do I help? What do I do to make him feel better? What if I don't have something in the pantry that he might want? Do I need to order pizza? (WAIT!! That was Dean. oops. :) This is kinda tricky.) So, when I got home, I said, "This is new territory for us. We don't have a "sick protocol" and I don't know how to help you. Let's talk this out." So we did. :) He said he'll eat whatever I give him, except I know that he doesn't like hot foods- hot like soup, not hot like spicey. Whew. I'm glad we got that settled.

Now we tackled Valentine's Day. He asked me what were my expectations?
Translation: will I be in the doghouse if I miss something? (wink)
I told him "no worries" - I was pretty low maintenence when it came to Valentine's Day. I said a card would be fine and we don't have to go out because all the restaurants will be busy and I know we would both rather do a movie over the weekend. He was fine with that. :)

Well, this morning when I woke up and shuffled into the kitchen to grab a hot cup of coffee, there was a card in front of the coffee pot with a new coffee mug that said "What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's." I LOVED it. It is my very first grandma thing and I love coffee cups. :) I am sipping out of my great mug right now.

I left two cards on the kitchen table in front of his chair. One was from me and the other one was from the cat. The cat's card said, "Today I thought about clawing you to pieces and feasting on the remains. But I didn't. If that's not love, what is?" It was perfect - he laughed out loud and then scratched her head. She purred. I think she likes him better than me. He bought one of those red laser pens to play with her. He sits on the sofa and flashes it on the wall and across the floor - she chases it all over the place and it cracks him up. However, I have to stop the fun when he gets her to chase it on the hardwood because she slides into the wall and he laughs when she thumps. Well, I suppose I have to admit . . . I laugh too.

But I digress, back to protocols. It helps to have a few of them in place to keep the unrealized expectations from ruining a good day. And I am having a good day . . . just sipping coffee out of my new mug. :) Ahhhhh, thank goodness for protocols.