Warning! Only for those over 40.

I know that guys think that growing old is tough. I keep hearing comments about how they lose their hair on top of their head and then it quickly slides down and takes root on their back. While they may be follicly challenged on their head... I would stack hot flashes up next to them ANY DAY! I have heard women moan about hot flashes and I thought to myself, "That must really be bad. But we've all been hot, so get a fan. "

Well, God has such a sense of irony.

I have been experiencing these "flashes" now for about a week. Suddenly with no warning at all, I am red and swelteringly HOT. I'm not talking about just a little hot.... I'm talking about stand-next-to-me-with-too-much-hairspray-and-you-could-blow-up hot! Nuclear reactor hot. The mother of all sunburns hot. I don't know if even hell could stand up against a hot flash. (Another really good reason to be a Christian... I simply don't do heat well. And, I've heard they have central air in heaven!)

And since the topic of hell has now been brought up, I have a hellish experience to share. I was at the rehab facility visiting dad tonight as is my custom most every night. The nurse was helping to turn him and I was waiting out in the hallway with mom and Cheryl. All of a sudden, instead of standing in a hallway, I was standing in the SAHARA DESERT. I could not seem to cool off. I could not breathe. I didn't have paper, had no fan, no nothing. Panic set in. I began looking for something to use as a fan. I grabbed the first thing I could find. There was an open package on the supply cart... and I was desperate. I grabbed an adult diaper out of the package. I grabbed that thing an began to fan myself like a crazy woman.

Well, Mom starting laughing. Then after stunned silence, Cheryl started laughing. The nurse walking down the hall began to laugh. Some old ladies in walkers started laughing. The only one not laughing was the crazy HOT woman fanning herself with a very large white diaper... trying not to kill the people standing between her and doorway leading to the air conditioner!!!! Yes, royal readers, I was that crazy diaper-fanning woman.

Thankfully the moment passed. OMGosh. This is just not going to be fun at all.
And please spare me the sorry comments about bald heads and hairy backs. I will not be a sympathetic listener. I may hit you with my fan.... or at least you better hope it's a fan. Who knows what I may pick up.... so watch out!